Are You With Me?
by Ms Chanadler Bong
Summary: AU:Hey guys! This is a fic based on a prompt I received from MakailaJaydeJac. It's set in season 1 when Matty and Jenna were friends with benefits and Jenna wants more from the relationship. The fic deals with the problems they face and how they overcome them. I hope you guys like it, let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

I had everything, great parents and friends and I was dating the most popular guy school, well kind of dating. I should've been on the top of the world. But the thing about having everything is, that it's never enough.

Even though I hated that I did, I wanted more with Matty. There was a time when I'd push away the thought of him even noticing me and today we're almost kind of sort of dating. A part of me keeps telling me to shut up and just let things go on the way they are, that this is as good as it gets for someone like me with someone like him. But in my heart of hearts, I know that things aren't enough the way they are, I deserve better.

So, I decided to finally talk to Matty about where we were going, I just didn't quite know how to start.

"What's wrong? You seem sad." Matty said, looking at me worriedly.

"Oh it's nothing." I said, as I took a seat next to him on my bed.

"Come on, tell me." Matty said, putting an arm around me.

"It's just, do you ever want more?" I asked, blurting out my words.

"What do you mean?" Matty asked.

"I mean.. With us, do you ever want more?" I asked, already feeling like this was a bad idea.

Matty didn't say anything for a second. I could tell he was thinking, nervous about what to say because he couldn't stop sniffing his armpits.

"Um.. I'm happy with where we are right now." Matty said, finally.

I didn't know what to say to that, I just knew that it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Is that okay?" Matty asked, nervously.

I thought for a moment, I knew it wasn't okay, that it wasn't enough but the part of me that felt someone like me, didn't deserve someone like Matty took over.

"It's okay." I said, with a small smile.

Matty smiled at me and kissed me, visibly relieved.

After Matty left, I couldn't help but hate the way I'd dealt with things. I felt lost and scared and I didn't know what else to do but to call up Tamara.

"Hey." Tamara said, answering the phone.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked, wanting to burst with all that I felt.

"Sure, what's up?" Tamara asked.

"You know how I've been wanting to ask Matty about our future and stuff, right?" I asked.

"Yeah." Tamara said.

"Well I did it." I said.

"That's great, how did it go?" Tamara asked.

"Not great." I said.

"Shit, what happened?" Tamara asked.

"Well, I asked him if he wanted more from us and he said he was happy with where are right now." I said.

"That's the worst." Tamara said.

"Tell me about it." I said.

"So what did you say?" Tamara asked.

"Well, I kind of had sex with him." I said, nervously biting my lip, anticipating Tamara's reaction.

"You had sex with him? Why would you do that after he told you he didn't want more?" Tamara asked, sounding upset.

"I panicked okay? I just, I knew that I should've said something but that part of me that thinks I don't deserve Matty took over." I said.

"Jenna, you do deserve Matty and you need to stop telling yourself you don't because you're letting him take you for granted." Tamara said, calming down a little.

"I know. It's just hard you know, making yourself believe that you're good enough for the guy everyone wants." I said, a lump forming in my throat.

"Jenna, you're certifiably badass and right now, it's him deserving you that's in question, not the other way around." Tamara said.

"Thanks T." I said, already feeling a thousand times better.

I went to sleep that night, wanting to start afresh tomorrow. I told myself tomorrow'd be a new day and a chance to deal with things better.

I woke up feeling absolutely sick, I rushed to the bathroom and before I could realize what was happening, I had my head over the toilet, puking my insides out.

I couldn't help feeling today was going to suck, seeing how it had started. I got ready, not exactly in the mood to deal with whatever the day planned on throwing at me.

I met Tamara by the lockers, hoping she'd know a way to fix my day before it even started.

"Hey." T said, as I walked toward her.

"Hey." I said.

"You're glowing." T said.

"Yeah well, I feel like crap."I said.

"Well, feeling like crap looks good on you." T said.

"My day hasn't even started and it already sucks." I said.

"What happened?" T asked.

"Well, I started my day by barfing my insides out. It's the second time this week." I said.

T didn't say anything for a second and then seemed to have a eureka moment.

"What?" I asked.

"You're pregnant." T said.

"I am?" I asked, confused, not really processing what was going on.

"Of course you are." T said.

"How can you even know that?" I asked.

"Well, you've been barfling, you've been glowing and you're boobs are clearly bigger." T said.

"It could be a coincidence." I said.

"Really?" T asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, a mix of bad Thai good and good moisturizer." I said, trying to sound convincing but failing miserably.

"Really? If you're so sure, why don't you take a pregnancy test?" T asked.

"I'm not pregnant and to prove it to you, I'll take one after school, okay?" I said.

"Okay." T said, as we began walking to class.

Even though I'd tried to sound as sure of myself as possible, my heart couldn't help but sink. What if I was pregnant? What would this mean for Matty and me? I wasn't being able to make him stay when everything was okay but with something like this hanging over our heads, he was definitely going to leave and I wasn't ready to lose him just yet. I didn't even have it in me to think about what my dad would say because if I did, I knew I'd break down. I could feel it all changing, my perfect little bubble, bursting.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long but now that I'm back, I'm going to update as frequently as possible. Let me know what you think! I hope you like it!

I knew I had agreed to take the pregnancy test but the fact was that I wasn't ready to know yet. I wasn't ready for everything to change, just yet.

"I can't do this." I said to Tamara as we stood in the middle of my bathroom with the box of pregnancy tests on the counter.

"Yes you can." Tamara said, picking up the box.

"I'm not ready for everything to change." I said, a lump forming in my throat.

"Jenna, if you're pregnant, everything has already changed. By not taking the test, you can only delay dealing with the situation, you can't change what has already happened." Tamara said, trying her best to talk some sense into me.

I knew she was right, that everything already had changed and I knew that even before taking that test.

I took a deep breath, took the box from Tamara's hand and took the test as Tamara waited outside.

"Are you done?" Tamara asked from outside.

"Yeah." I said, my heart racing.

"Are you okay?" Tamara asked, walking in.

"Not even a little bit." I said, tears falling done my cheeks.

"It's time." Tamara said, picking up the stick, after a couple of minutes.

"I can't do it, you do it." I said, wanting to throw up from all the anxiety.

Tamara could sense how scared I was and so she picked up the stick without saying another word. She just stared at the stick for a minute as she matched the sign on the box with the one on the stick.

"So?" I asked, impatiently.

"It's positive." Tamara said, putting the stick down to give me a hug.

As soon as she hugged me, I started bawling. Even though I was expecting it, I didn't know what I was going to do. Matty could barely commit to a relationship, let alone a baby. And as far as my parents were concerned, all they ever told me was to not get pregnant in high school, to not repeat their mistakes.

"It's going to be okay." Tamara said.

"How?" I asked, pulling away from her.

"Your parents and I are going to be here for you and I'm sure Matty will come around too." Tamara said, trying her best to sound comforting.

"Matty doesn't even want people to know about us, do you really think he wants us to have a baby?" I asked, angry at my circumstances.

"I'm here for you and we will figure this out." Tamara said, hugging me again.

I hugged her back, feeling so grateful to have her around. Her friendship felt like the only good thing in my life and having her around made all this a tiny bit less scary.

We just sat around my room for the rest of the day, Tamara tried to make me feel normal but I knew nothing would ever be normal again.

"You have to tell him." Tamara said as we walked to class the next day.

"Tell who?" Jenna asked.

"Matty." Tamara said.

"I'm not telling him until I'm completely sure." I said.

"When will you be completely sure?" Tamara asked. 

"Today, I have an appointment at the clinic." I said. 

"I'm coming with you." Tamara said.

"You don't have to." I said, trying to make Tamara feel less responsible for taking care of me.

"Of course I do, we're a team." Tamara said.

"Thanks T." I said, smiling.

Just as we reached class, I saw Matty smiling at me from the quad. I didn't smile back, I just awkwardly rushed into class. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. Not seeing him proved to be surprisingly hard because he was everywhere I went and it seemed like he really wanted to make sure we were okay. As much as I wanted to tell him how much I wanted us to be okay, I knew I didn't have the time to deal with him right now. I needed to know for sure whether or not I was pregnant, before I could say anything.

After school Tamara and I went to the clinic. Even though I kind of knew what the doctor was going to tell me, I was still so scared, hoping against hope that it was false positive.

"You're definitely pregnant." The doctor said, looking at her chart.

The difference between suspecting something and knowing it for sure is that the second you know its true, your life completely changes and you can actually feel every fiber of your being changing. I instinctively put my hand on my stomach, for a second I wasn't scared. I didn't think about Matty or my parents, I just thought about the little life inside me, my baby.

Tamara dropped me home, she wanted to come inside to make sure I was okay but I told her I just needed some time by myself.

I absentmindedly walked into my room, only to be surprise by Matty standing next to a table with what looked like a candle light dinner on it.

"I know you're upset with me." Matty said, as I walked toward him.

"I'm not, really." I said.

"I know you are and I know it's about me not committing and I want you to know I really like you Jenna and this is my way of proving it you.  
" Matty said, taking me by the hand.

"That's really sweet, but I'm honestly not angry." I said.

"Then why did you ignore me at school?" Matty asked, sounding a little hurt.

"I didn't mean to, I really didn't." I said, struggling with the words to say to get him to not prod more.

"Then?" Matty asked.

"I'm just a little preoccupied." I said.

"Talk to me." Matty said, making me sit next to him on my bed.

"It's nothing." I said.

"Come on." Matty said.

"It's nothing." I said, hoping Matty would just drop it.

"Jenna, it's me, I care about you and I want to make sure you're okay." Matty said.

"I'm pregnant." I said, the words blurting out.

I knew in that moment that this was it. My almost perfect life was over and Matty and I would never be the same again.


End file.
